What do you do when you feel you have done all there is to be done, but are still not where you had envisioned yourself to be by now? You start questioning the path you have taken but it’s a little late in the day to muster courage to retract back to your ideals.. You feel if only things were a little different, if only your situation was more favorable. You look around and you seem to see people that seem to have made it in life, they seem to have it all together, they seem to have acquired what you thought was actually yours to acquire, yet here you are. At times some of these people are much younger than you, perhaps you were their senior at one point in life.
Time is passing you by and the only thing you seem to be looking forward to is the end of the day or the end of the week. Then once in a while, looking forward to your leave or even retirement. You seem to have reached the peak, yet not yet there. What do you do?
Actually, let’s digress a little and think about retirement.. You’ll be interested to know that from the olden days, days of the bible, there was nothing like retirement. People worked until they breathed their last. The main difference with our days is that we now work in systems that require us to retire in order to make way for the younger generation who are more energetic and cheaper in the workforce (fact of life). They also don’t need as much medical attention, are more flexible and with the changing times, they handle it better! Have you seen an energetic and healthy old person that has retired and does nothing day in day out? I bet you not! People who retire to ‘go home’ and do nothing, are the majority that get age related diseases. When you look around, the people who are still highly active in life, pursuing some purpose or another, are the ones that live the longest and fall sick less often. But that’s for another topic.
Back to our discussion, how should you deal with this dilemma? How do you rejuvenate yourself from where you are? There are those weeks that I have questioned my purpose, I have questioned my position in life, and wondered, is that all there is? And I’ve been tempted to accept that perhaps, this is all there is to it.
Some turn to alcohol to fill the void, others seek for relationships outside what they already have, others become more ‘religious’ with the hope of some miracle and sense of fulfillment, while others accept and say “it is what it is” and give in to their fate. A wise man once said ‘there is a season for everything under the sun”. Even this is a season, and should be taken as so. We cannot hide from seasons, neither can we avoid them, we just need to learn from them, embrace them and make the best out of them.
I do not pretend to know all the answers to the solutions, but some few ideas I have seen work, through reading books, speaking with people, and trying out a few things, I’ve detailed out but a few you could do immediately to help you get back meaning when such seasons come knocking, which they shall.
It is said that you are only as successful as your habits.
- Keep going anyway
I remember a song that said “if you catch hell don’t hold it, and if you’re going through hell, don’t stop”. When you keep moving, you have a higher chance of coming out the other side with all your faculties intact. When you stop, is when the heat gets worse. Don’t encourage the pity party that comes with this season, it only takes you down a road of self destruction
- Learn a new skill
Anthony D’Angelo said “Develop a passion for learning, if you do, you will never cease to grow”. Learning something new will always open up your mind to new possibilities, to new ways of doing things and to wisdom gathered over many years that you can glean from others. What is it you’ve always wanted to do or learn but have never invested time or money to learn? Do it!
- Spend time with like-minded people
It is said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend your time with. Look around, at your company and see the people you surround yourself with. Is that the person you want to be the rest of your life? If not, get new friends. (PS: these don’t have to be people you physically spend time with, they can be authors, speakers etc)
- Read more books
Reading books gives you a short-cut of learning life lessons from others, saving you the time you’d need to experience the same things, make the same mistakes, and waste more time.
- Spend time in nature
Invest in spending time with nature. We live in a society full of noise, both physical, mental, social, with phones glued to our hands – you can forget your wallet at home but never your phone 🙂. Once in a while, you need to disconnect from all this, and reconnect with nature. Nature has a way of nurturing us back, and helping us to rediscover ourselves. It’s in these moments that you can get an epiphany to your next idea.
- Take some tea – sometimes all you need is take a well-deserved break, to regroup.
With the above as habits, you’ll not have time or energy to mull over what you cannot control, by working on what you can actually control. You’ll be surprised!
