How do you achieve inner happiness and live a motivated life, in this era of information and high societal expectations? What is the secret to a happy life? We all go through dips and surges in life, some of which change our lives completely, and others set precedence to new dispensations not previously planned.
So what’s the difference between those who ride the wave and those that struggle? It is not luck; good or bad. I trust you know that one person that’s is always unfortunate, bad fortunes seem to run after them. In the same breadth, you might also know someone who’s always successful, and good things seem to always run after them. Success and ‘luck’ seems to follow them.
One thing we need to internalize is that true happiness comes from within, and is not given by what happens or does not happen to us. Actually, I dare to say that happiness is a choice that is made consciously every day. But how do you do this without carrying superficial happiness?
The following are some ways you can actively work on to improve your happiness index, that I think are worth trying. These are tried and tested.
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Think positive thoughts
By now you know this is my gospel for everything; your thoughts. Your mind is a gold mine and a creator of your life. You become what you constantly think about. When you think you can’t, then you can’t, and when you think you can, then you can.
We are consistently surrounded by negativity, from news on the tv to social media, to politics, and what’s happening around us, that consistently fill our brains with negativity. No wonder our default way of thinking is negative. One needs to make a conscious effort to feed your mind with positive things in order to give your brain positive things to think about.
You attract what you consistently think about. Consume more motivational material, religious books, audiobooks, and seminars that build you to keep your mind on the positive. We can’t do much about most of the negativity around us, so why dwell on them? Focus on what you can control.
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Do what you love every day
A good percentage of adults dislike their jobs or wish they had the chance to do something different, something that they love. For many, this can be a challenge since we think what we’d love to do might not be enough to cater to our lifestyles and we’d rather keep doing what brings food to the table. There’s also the fear of failure that overwhelms us with inaction.
One thing you can do immediately is to incorporate into your daily life, a piece of what you love to do. It doesn’t have to be big, and it doesn’t need to be a money-making venture (most of the things we love to do are done out of the abundance of heart and not necessarily to make money, money follows later). Create time slots in your day, and do the ‘thing’. The more you do it, the better you become at it, and the more satisfaction you get out of your day; this is a much-needed boost to your happiness and joy.
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Stay Calm - Release Anxiety
Anxiety is a highly underrated emotion but has far more destructive consequences than imagined. Just look at society, impatience on the roads, and how we handle each other. Most of these stem from an anxious environment. We live in a tense society, full of anxious moments, from looming deadlines to fear of loss of income, to impostor syndrome.. The list is endless. Harvard Health (2008) found that Anxiety was related to chronic illnesses such as GI issues and heart disease. The Mayo Clinic (2017) included other worsening symptoms such as headaches and migraines as well as sleep issues. Often having long-term anxiety can lead to depressive states. No wonder we have a large number of people suffering from mental issues.
When you are anxious, it’s always because of either of two reasons; you are worried and thinking about something that has passed, or are thinking of something yet to come. Unfortunately, being anxious will not change circumstances.
One way to counter anxiety is to live in the present, live in the moment. What hasn’t happened might not happen, and you can’t change what has already happened. Why not focus on what you can do now, to ensure what comes is more manageable? Another way is through mindful meditation or yoga practices. Several books have been written on this, therefore get a hold of one and work anxiety out of your life.
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Accept that things won’t always go your way
There’s a prayer of serenity that was in everyone’s home when we were younger that said; ‘Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” We all need that serenity prayer every now and then. It will give you peace of mind knowing there’s a higher power that sees what we cannot see in our time and space. Don’t be too heavily invested in one outcome that the contrary happening ends up breaking you.
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Humor is healing - laugh a little more
We take ourselves a little too seriously, when was the last time you had a hearty laugh? Laughter is known to be a form of medicine since it produces some hormones in the body that aid in healthy balance restoration. Meet some good friends, spend some time watching a comedy that makes you joyful, and appreciate the little things and little joys that seem to only amuse babies. Get some laughter every day. I love how when amused, little babies laugh very unreservedly. Laugh a little more.
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Forgiveness heals and releases
Someone once gave me an analogy of a garbage truck. Everyone is like a garbage truck, moving around with their garbage, looking for a way to dispose of it. When they find someone to dump their garbage on, they surely will. You have a choice to shake off the garbage and don’t allow it to stick on you or to mull over the dumping (while it starts stinking on you). It’s really up to you. Forgiveness heals the releases your emotions to focus on more positive aspects. Anger and rage make us age faster, while forgiveness makes us light years younger. So why not chose to forgive, it’s for your own good. Forgive more often and forgive quicker.
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Be happy in the now
As indicated earlier in the article, happiness is a decision. We’ve been conditioned to want better, faster, and greater, and we occasionally forget to appreciate what we already have.
A story is told of a man who lost his business and in his miserable state, casually told a friend that he had lost everything. The friend asked him ‘ is your wife still with you?’ he said, yes, she’s very supportive and is helping out with finances here and there, next ‘how are your children’, to which he responded, they actually keep telling me how much they love me and hope I shall recover one day, and do you have any friends?’ to which he affirmed to the positive, that there’s a handful of them who still pick his calls and are willing to help whenever they could. To his amusement, he discovered he had not lost everything, he was just focusing on the wrong thing and all he needed to do was to arise and try again.
We all need to count our blessings more often, as being grateful opens our eyes to more and it is a pathway to strength when it’s lacking. Be happy in the now, no matter how it looks.
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Give happiness, the more you give, the more you get
You must have heard the phrase, ‘give and it shall come back to you, good measure, shaken together and running over.’ One of the laws of karma and physics - for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. The most valuable things in life are those that have no monetary value; your brain, your health, your family, and your friendships, are all free - no wonder they are undervalued. When you learn to give what you desire the most, you receive the very same thing. Lacking love? Give love. Lacking kindness? show some kindness to someone. Lacking friends? Become a friend.
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Get to meet yourself
We are social beings, but we also are individuals. Some people are too afraid of their own company that spending time with yourself is a no-no. You’d rather spend that time mindlessly scrolling through your phone or watching cute videos. Boredom is actually not a bad thing. It helps you create, get ideas, and even get to understand yourself better. Get to know what makes you tick and do more of it, reduce what doesn’t work for you, and this can only be done when you get to really meet yourself. Schedule ‘thinking’ time with yourself every now and then. I know I need to work on this myself 
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PS: If you missed it, you can read the article on Being Present to alleviate anxiety here
