I’d like to revisit this topic again, on how our circle influences our behavior and outcome. This is because I see it in myself every time. Whenever I am motivated and able to apply myself positively, chances are that I am in the company of similar people or a motivational environment. On the contrary, when I feel consistently demotivated, I know I’ve placed myself in the ‘wrong’ environment.
In the whirlwind of daily life, it’s easy to underestimate just how much our social circles shape us. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This idea, often credited to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, is more than just a catchy phrase—it’s a powerful insight into human psychology and personal growth.
The Influence of Your Inner Circle
The people we surround ourselves with influence our thoughts, habits, and ambitions. Like a single drop of ink dispersing through water, their mindsets seep into our lives, subtly molding our actions and beliefs. Whether we realize it or not, their outlooks become our benchmarks, their attitudes our defaults.
In the company of ambitious, upward-mobile people, we find our energies unwavering and we become more adventurous. Alternately, the company of disgruntled unambitious people tends to put us down. The same goes for what you spend your time watching or reading. If you’re fully invested in local politics, chances are high that you’ll be gloomy most of the time. The reason why I purposely avoid closely following breaking news every time. Sometimes, choose to only watch or read positive news – rather than read more on the positive aspects than the typical news – which is more often than not, bad news.
The same applies to fitness and health. If you want to get in shape, the best thing you can do is align yourself with people who prioritize exercise and healthy living. Their discipline will rub off on you, their motivation will push you further, and their habits will set a standard that becomes second nature.
Influence Extends Beyond Physical Presence
Your five closest influences don’t have to be people you interact with face-to-face. They include the content you consume, the social media accounts you follow, the news you absorb, and the voices you allow into your mind. Are you scrolling aimlessly, comparing yourself to curated online personas? Are you engaging with content that fuels insecurity rather than inspiration? Every digital interaction contributes to the mental environment you cultivate.
One of your five can—and should—be a mentor. This could be someone you know personally, or it could be a figure you study through books, podcasts, and interviews. Simply admiring someone isn’t enough. Real growth happens when you actively engage with their teachings, apply their insights, and seek ways to learn from them consistently.
The Science Behind Social Influence
This concept isn’t just a motivational mantra—it’s backed by research in psychology and sociology. Studies show that human behavior is deeply influenced by social norms and peer pressure. Our brains are wired for connection, and we subconsciously mirror the habits and emotions of those around us. This is known as social contagion: emotions, habits, and even success levels can spread like a virus within close-knit groups.
A study by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler found that if a close friend becomes obese, your chances of gaining weight increase by 57%. Similarly, if a friend becomes more active, you are more likely to adopt healthier habits. This principle applies to success, happiness, and even financial well-being. Surround yourself with high-achievers, and you’re more likely to adopt their mindset. Spend time with complacent individuals, and stagnation might become your norm.
Practical Steps to Curate Your Circle
- Evaluate Your Current Circle: Take an honest look at the people in your life. Do they challenge and inspire you, or do they drain your energy and limit your growth?
- Seek Out Growth-Oriented Individuals: Engage in communities that align with your goals—networking groups, mastermind circles, or professional organizations.
- Limit Negative Influences: You don’t have to cut people off entirely, but be mindful of how much time you spend with those who bring negativity.
- Diversify Your Influences: Read books, listen to podcasts, and follow individuals who embody the qualities you want to cultivate.
- Become a Person of Value: The law of attraction applies here. If you want to be around great people, work on being someone they’d want in their circle.
Choose Your Circle Wisely
This principle isn’t just about social dynamics—it’s about intentionality. It calls for self-awareness and a critical look at the people and influences shaping your life. Are they propelling you forward or holding you back? Do they challenge you to grow, or do they keep you comfortable in mediocrity?
You have the power to curate your environment. Seek out those who inspire, challenge, and uplift you. Connect with individuals whose values align with the person you strive to become. Be deliberate about the media and ideas you consume. These choices will shape your future more than you realize.
Jim Rohn’s words carry a profound truth: We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Recognizing this gives us the power to take control of our growth. Choose your circle with intention, because they hold the key to unlocking your potential and defining the trajectory of your life.
