Part 7: Embrace Presence Over Perfection in Parenting
You’re doing your best to manage everything—projects, deadlines, clients, performance reviews, fitness goals, and financial plans. But what about the fleeting moments at home—the quiet bedtime conversations, the messy dinner prep with the kids, the “just checking in” chats with your teenager?
When life feels like a race, it’s easy to fall into the trap of treating family time as something you’ll get to after everything else is done. But here’s the truth: your work will always expand to fill your time. Family, on the other hand, needs intentional space to flourish.
In this part of the “Reclaiming Control: How to Become the CEO of Your Life” series, we look at how to make presence—not perfection—your guiding principle in parenting and family life. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to start showing up more intentionally.
1. Redefine What a “Good Parent” Looks Like
In today’s productivity-driven world, it’s easy to believe that being a “good parent” means doing it all—from hosting themed birthdays to preparing Pinterest-worthy meals, being on every school committee, and never missing a moment.
But good parenting isn’t measured by how much you do—it’s about how you show up.
A good parent prioritizes their family. They create emotional availability in the middle of a packed calendar. They choose to pause for five minutes to check in on their child’s mood. They say “no” to yet another Zoom call so they can make it to their daughter’s music recital. They value the relationship over the image.
You don't need to be perfect; you need to be present. When you intentionally make time for your family—however small—you communicate love, stability, and value far more than a flawlessly executed plan ever could.
2. Start with What You Can Give Today
Some days are a whirlwind. Between client meetings, household tasks, and traffic, all you may have left is 15 minutes. That’s okay. The question isn’t how much time you give—it’s how fully you show up in that time.
Give your full attention during the school drop-off. Sit and chat with your teen while folding laundry. Laugh together while cooking or brushing your teeth. These “ordinary” moments are actually the glue of connection. Have meals together whenever you can and put away the phone. This is a big one for me – we don’t allow phones at the dinner table – we speak with each other.
Start small, but start intentionally. These micro-moments, when done consistently, create a strong emotional foundation that children return to again and again.
🧭 Step 3: Manage Guilt with Awareness
If you’re a working parent, you’ve likely felt it—that quiet, gnawing ache:
“Am I doing enough?”
Parental guilt is so common it becomes background noise. It’s what fuels late-night overthinking, unnecessary spending, or trying to "make up" for lost time with big gestures instead of meaningful connection.
But truth is: Guilt doesn’t make us better parents. Awareness does.
When left unchecked, guilt often morphs into resentment—towards work, your partner, your kids, or even yourself. Instead of reacting to that guilt, try reflecting on it.
Try journaling through this prompt:
“What part of this guilt is rooted in fear? What part is rooted in love?”
This question creates space for clarity. Sometimes, guilt stems from fear of being judged, missing out, or not matching society’s impossible standards. Other times, it’s simply love disguised as worry.
Either way, lead with grace, not punishment.
Your awareness—not your guilt—should guide how you show up at home.
Tool Recommendation:
The 5-Minute Journal (Gratitude & Reflection Tool). pause and reflect on your daily actions and mindset, manage your guilt and celebrate small wins
Weekly Planner: To help you write down and journal important to-do lists for your family and a tracker to help keep yourself accountable.
4. Involve Your Family in Real Life
Presence doesn’t always mean setting aside your responsibilities. Sometimes, it means bringing your family into your world.
Ask for your kids’ help preparing meals. Let them help choose the week’s grocery list or participate in organizing a home office corner. Talk about your workday over dinner. Let them see you problem-solve, pivot, and prioritize.
When children feel like participants—not just observers—they grow in confidence and responsibility. They begin to understand the world beyond their bubble and learn that love and connection are built in shared experiences, not staged events.
Book Recommendation: Parenting with Love and Logic (Book). A bestselling book that supports the approach of building emotionally healthy relationships with kids without resorting to perfectionism. It emphasizes practical techniques to reduce power struggles and increase presence.
5. Let Your Presence Be Imperfect but Intentional
There will be moments you snap. Times you miss the mark. Days when you’re just too tired to engage. But presence isn’t about getting it right 100% of the time. It’s about returning—again and again—to what matters.
Apologize when needed. Be honest about how you feel. And most importantly, keep showing up.
Intentional presence is a habit. One built in the quiet, often mundane, rhythms of family life. In the check-ins. The car rides. The jokes only your family understands.
You don’t need to parent like a superhero. You just need to keep choosing to show up as yourself—flawed, loving, human—and keep showing your family they’re worth that effort.
JOURNAL PROMPT:
Take 5 minutes tonight and reflect:
- Where do I feel most present with my family?
- Where do I feel I’m performing or showing up out of obligation?
- What’s one simple ritual I can create this week to increase meaningful connection?
PARTING THOUGHT
Presence over perfection is not a slogan—it’s a way of life. And it’s what builds relationships that last.
In the next part of this series, we’ll dive into something every busy person wrestles with: time. In “Time Management: Trade Busyness for Intentionality,” we’ll explore how to reclaim your schedule, break free from chronic overwhelm, and design your days around what truly matters. Because your time isn’t just a resource—it’s a reflection of your priorities.
You won’t want to miss it.
In case you missed last week's article on Becoming the energy you want to attract, read it here.
